Agent vs Lender
Agent vs Lender
Live a Life by Design Not Default
There is the common saying: What is the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over, and expecting different results.
If you are looking for direction in how to get different results, then this is the episode for you.
On this week's episode of the podcast we speak to international speaker and business coach Brigette Sobus. She shares with us the big business and life trials she has been through and how she overcame all of them. Break your never ending cycle and find a new way to success in your life and in your business.
-balancing work and life
-lead a path to success
-creating healthy boundries
You can listen to all episodes of Agent Vs Lender on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, and Google Play. If you love Agent Vs Lender follow us on YouTube, Facebook, and Instagram for all bonus content.
Welcome to another episode of Agent Versus Lender. And today we have with us Bridget Sobus. Welcome to the podcast, Brigette.
Brigette Sobus:Hello, I'm so happy to be here with you today.
Ron Pippin:We're, we're excited to have you here too. So Brigette, Brigette is actually part of a mastermind group that I that I belong to. And I've been really impressed with some of the things that she that she talks about, and, and that she's helped so many of us with. And so I invited her to talk to each of us about what she does. And so she's a professional coach. She's a consultant. She's an international speaker, and she talks to us about getting out of our own head. Is that is that right Brigette?
Brigette Sobus:Yes, a lot of the things that I practice it are supporting people on letting go of emotional baggage, which could be anger, guilt, sadness, fear, and that negative self talk. So the negative self talk being like, I'm not good enough, I don't know enough, they're gonna leave me How can I ask them to purchase this for me, and I call that voice the itty bitty shitty committee. So I love supporting people on squashing that negative self talk telling the itty bitty shitty committee to take a backseat and letting go negative baggage, I know firsthand for myself, I would hold on to anger for I felt like for for eternity. And it would just carry on with me like a ball and chain. And if I started telling you a story about an incident, I was I had was had anger around, it would be like I would be reliving it, if not even worse. So I like to stop letting that stuff go.
Ron Pippin:We I know a lot of people that that hang on to things like years, I mean that something happened to him. And I think of I think of people that had something happened to them in high school, and they're still holding on to that, it's just like that, that thing has just grabbed on to them, and they can't let it go. And it affects your entire life.
Brigette Sobus:Yeah, and it's even, you know, like, there's times when you know, we're in a romantic relationship, and it's not going very well. And then we move on to another one. And then the same thing is happening. And now we're going to a different one. And it's like our patterns and behaviors continue to follow us. It's even the same thing with with a job or a career, we could be moving from job to job career to career, and we're still experiencing the same emotions, behaviors patterns. And it really is because it's all in an unconscious level. And we're not even aware of it. So when you brought up that people are holding on to things from high school, we could be holding on to things, even when we were a child, like three or four years old, and we're not even realizing it, because it's so embedded in our unconscious mind. So I support people on reframing their unconscious mind so they can start letting that go and start having more freedom in their, in their minds.
Ron Pippin:Sure, so um, so we're gonna get into that here in just a little bit more but just tell us a little about about, about you how you got into this. It's just seems like a you know, it's not something that everybody like, aspires to be, not that they want don't want to aspire to be a coach or an international speaker. But this is just seems like a little odd. A little nichy kind of kind of work that you do. So how did you get into that?
Brigette Sobus:So I got into it. So I my background is a salon salon industry. I started my career out as a master certified hair colorist. And I was making six figures in that industry. And I was working in a salon about 16 years ago. And I thought, if this guy can own a business, there's no reason why I can't I'm sure many people have thought that working for small businesses or corporations. And then I ended up buying the salon that I was working at. And then I quickly learned that I had no idea how to run a business either. And I was taking my six figure paycheck and putting it back into this business to keep it going. And I just became a big hot mess just like the other guy was. And I hired a business coach and consultant and that completely changed my life. I turned my business around I turned my life around. I started growing the business by 30-35%. Year after year I became an award an award winning business in North America for 13 years. And because of that work, I decided to become a coach and consultant and help other small business owners and entrepreneurs, run successful businesses. And then I was at a lot of transformational work with coaching, became a certified coach in 2012. And then I was introduced to the work of NLP, which is neuro linguistic programming and timeline therapy and hypnotherapy. And that was like, for me, that was like, the, the, I flipped the switch. Because over the years, like I knew, I knew the concept of like being able to choose your thoughts and your patterns, like telling it to be quiet choosing this over that. But there was something that was not clicking with me where it was still, those night that negative baggage and negative self talk kept running my show. So then I got certified and NLP and timeline therapy and hypnotherapy. And it has completely shifted and changed my life. Like even the results I've been getting with my clients. It's like, it's, I'll have eight hours of sessions with them. And just the other day, I did a video testimonial with one of my clients. And she's like, because of this work I'm doing with you, I'm able to be a better leader with my team, like I've been able to get rid of that those emotional baggage. So that is how I got into this field was because of experiencing the work and just loving it so much, and how much should impact my life and I want to support other people to do the same.
Ron Pippin:Yeah, I always find that it's always interesting to hear somebody's story, because how they get into a business often is because of past stuff, something that that they've experienced, or something that's helped them, or something that they don't want something that like, there's something that they don't want to happen to other people like that's happened to them. So, so thanks for sharing your story. That's, that's pretty odd. Yeah.
Brigette Sobus:And on a vulnerability aspect. I mean, I went through some pretty, you know, I, I, during owning a successful business, I found myself going through a really nasty divorce, which led me to becoming personally in debt of over a million dollars. And then I got breast cancer. And then it was just wow, like, it was like one thing after another. And that's kind of what also put me kind of in a spin of having like, some depression and sadness, and like my itty bitty shitty was like running the show. How did you marry somebody like that? How could you let that happen. And because of the work that I practice, now, I've been able to let that go. And it's just something that happened. And you can reinvent yourself at any age, and love your life and have it by design versus default.
Ron Pippin:You know, I find that people that are successful. So when you had a successful business, it didn't start out that way. You just like you said, you were taking your paycheck, and you were putting it back into the business to give it a float. And you had and there's a lot of learning just because you're great. Great at what you did, didn't mean you were going to be great at running a business and you had to learn that. And you did, but there was a lot of hard times you went through. And so to get to where you are now, you went to a lot of other hard times. And so if people are listening to this, and they're going through hard times, man, it's just like, hang in there. I've got my own story. I'm not going to share it right now. But we've had we have our own story about how we got to where we are, but where how we got there is, is what makes us who we are today. Is that right?
Brigette Sobus:Exactly. It's just it's really it's learning from the lessons and not having the lessons be a death sentence. You know, it's not like it doesn't ruin your life. It's just everyone has breakdowns whether they can be small little ones, or they can be huge, like getting cancer or filing bankruptcy. Like I held on to a lot of shame because of the bankruptcy thing. Like my business was not bankrupt. It was my life. Because, you know, there were just like things going on behind my back that I had no idea and we own two properties that the mortgages weren't getting paid on. And it was just, it just was like one thing rolling after another. So I was like, I had recommendations from attorneys, family mentors, like you have to file bankruptcy. And I was like, I'm gonna lose my business. If I do that. And I just ego got in my way. I did file bankruptcy was working. I buy my own business back from a trustee. It was just, it was a lot at the time, but it was a huge learning lesson for me and now I can share it with other people and my lessons Going through that and giving advice. So...
Ron Pippin:Well good. Well, I'm thanks for sharing your story because it's not easy for people to, to, to be vulnerable and share some of those things that that that you said that's kind of shameful you know, and I think we all have those those things in our life. So yeah. And I think when you say you have a couple properties, those of us that are in the in the real estate mortgage industry, we see that a lot. And so we can we can, that resonates with us.
Brigette Sobus:Yeah.
Ron Pippin:So tell me a little bit about. So tell me about about your business. Tell me about what, what can you do to help us? What is it that? What is it that that maybe you want to bring to this to our listeners right now? Or to those of you? Yeah, you do?
Brigette Sobus:Yeah, thanks for asking. So I mean, I support a lot of small business owners and entrepreneurs to I mean, put systems in place in their business, you know, everything from cash flow projections to budgets, to handbooks, procedures, and so that would be like the consulting side of what I do. But what I'm, what I find is, a lot of the times is that, you know, I could support small business owners to put systems in their business all day long. However, if they have the itty bitty shitty committee running the show, and their self worth isn't there, or their confidence is isn't there, they have a challenge, leading their team, or putting it in place or setting boundaries with customers. For you know, for an example, you know, holding your team accountable, I find, and I use this, this used to be me as well, I found that I would have that the people pleaser, running my show. So I support a lot of people on letting go of the people pleasing habits and behaviors so they can empower themselves and set down healthy boundaries with others. So whether it's healthy boundaries with a client healthy boundaries with an employee, or even your boss, or you know, family or friend. So that's a lot of the things that I work on with people and getting out of their way creating projects in their lives, whether it's a business project, relationship, project, health and well being project.
Ron Pippin:So you mentioned how, there's a couple of notes that I just took, so setting boundaries with, with how do people do that? So So a couple things, couple thoughts going through my head is setting boundaries with people and not being a people pleaser. So the the problem that I see with that is, a lot of people will view that as well. Now I'm the bad guy. It's just like, you know, you think of that boss that is just all about business and is not about about the customer or not about the employee? How do you set those boundaries with clients and with employees? and not be that that bad boss? You know what I mean? Not be that bad leader that doesn't care?
Brigette Sobus:Yeah, I mean, I definitely think it's a combination of Yes, you have to have systems in place for business owner, you have your job description, you have your handbooks, your policies and procedures, and you stick to that. But it's it's not being a"yes man" all the time. You know, it's really learning how I feel like a lot of people have challenges saying no, like, they want to just take out everything and say yes to everything. And then before you know it, we're, we're drowning, and everything we said yes to, or we're not taking a day off, or we're letting people like walk all over us. So it really is making those decisions like no, and saying no can be a complete sentence. You know, learning that and, and really just just like trying to decide like is, am I just saying this, because I want this other person to be happy. You know, a lot of the times too, I work with people on, you know, filling up their cup first, like we have to start taking care of us before we take care of other people. And most of the time, I find that people are just going and going and going and they're depleting themselves putting themselves last and then we're empty and then we have nothing left to give, but we still keep giving and then that's like running us into the ground. Like I know like for me like if you knew me 7, 6-7 years ago, I was a I was owning my salon, still doing hair doing coaching consulting work. I was a mentor coach and like to other coach training programs like I did not know I love what I was doing, but I had no idea how to say no. And I would find myself working 16 days in a row. And then I finally started taking things off my plate. And then then the universe came and gave me another slap on the wrist and was like, you have breast cancer. Like, I really feel that, because I kept running myself on empty, that was like, that was a catalyst of getting sick with cancer. I'm not a doctor, I can't diagnose it, but I can just reflect on my own life because I was like, going and going and going and going and going. So now I put boundaries down on myself where I have to say no to certain events, I have to say no to projects that someone asked me to take on, I have to say no to a client that may want to ask me to work at nine o'clock at night, you know, so and then I just scheduled time off, you have to be a cause for your schedule, so that you take time off, and vacations.
Ron Pippin:That's a you know, I'm over here, like taking lots of notes. So if people see me doing this, it's, I'm just taking notes, because there's what you just said is runs rampant in the real estate and mortgage industry. They, we think that we have to work almost 24/7, and I see this in forums, you know, belong on on social media forums, and people talk about this, that, you know, our clients, and there's some truth in this, our clients work during the day. And so they have, they want to call us in the evening, they want to call us first thing in the morning, they want to call us on the weekends. And it's really difficult for some people to either take the time off, or to feel like they have to be married to their phone. I'm one of them. And and that's something that I've been working on I you know, I've now have a team behind me, that's helping me. And so that's a that that was like a game changer for me getting a coach and and teaching me how to how to how to duplicate my efforts. And so and so we do have we do have that that coverage, but I'm fortunate enough to have people that help take that off of my plate. But not everybody has that. So how do you how do you take some time off? How do you? And I know there's probably time blocking techniques? They're scheduling it in your calendar? But how do you say no to people when, especially in today's market when these and this may not be a fair question. So right now, in our market, it's just like, if you don't see a house, and you don't see it that day, it may be gone. You know, and because what it gets on the market, and within within hours, or at least certainly within days, you have multiple offers coming in. So yeah. How do you how do you work through that? How did what do you do? Yeah, I mean, maybe this is an unfair question. So if it is,
Brigette Sobus:no, I, you know, I definitely probably there's a times there in your in your business, there's urgency, I'm sure of it, you know, because things do move like like that. I know, a lot of you know, people that have been in the real estate business. But I also do think you know, even coming from like when you said working on the weekends and working at nights, like you know, coming from the salon industry, that's the same thing. Like most of our clientele is coming in after work hours and on the weekends. But it's also that it also just goes back to you, you you have to train people how to treat you. So for example, I would I used to instantaneously, almost probably within 30 seconds, reply back to somebody text message. And then they got used to that. And then when I wouldn't reply back, like, I know, you're looking at your phone, I know you're seeing this, I know you're like, okay, well, I guess what, we're we're changing the rules here. So I had to go back and I had to tell people listen, like, I will reply back to you within 24 hours, unless it's a complete emergency. A lot of the times we let other people's urgency become our urgency. And then that's where the people pleasing comes into place. So their fires become our fires and it doesn't necessarily have to be like that. So I you know, I let my clients know I let other people know like people I sold my house. I sold my business last year, I gratefully sold my business in a pandemic. So I no longer on my salon. So I could focus on coaching consulting work. But you know, I would let my employees know like, Listen From now on, like I had a whole team meeting I was like, from now on, I will reply back to you within 24 hours. If you text me after this time, I used to get text messages for some of these people. And like one in the morning. Oh, Brigette, I'm so sick...
Ron Pippin:I've had that too. That is crazy, I had that too.
Brigette Sobus:No like, no texting me after x time. Like, you can wait till seven o'clock in the morning, tell me you're throwing up? Come on, you know what I mean? So it's just again, I think it just really goes back to you teach people how to treat you, you put that's a way to put healthy boundaries down.
Ron Pippin:You know that that's a good not not only for business, but that's a good thing in relationships that my wife has told me and our kids and other people, that same exact thing. It's just like, well, this person is doing this. And she said, Well, you've taught them to that, that does that it's okay to do that. And, and so in relationships, it's the same thing. It's just like you treat people like, oh, for an example. I still open the door for my wife in the car. But she taught, but she taught me that. And the reason why is because when we were dating, she wouldn't get in the car, she stood by the door. And, and if I got in, she would just look at me. And I would laugh. And I'd go around. And she still does it. So if I if I don't go open her door, she just stands by the door. And that there's exceptions to that. I know he's awesome. There's exceptions to that rule. Like if it's raining or something, I'm just I just go, I'm not gonna open your door because I don't want to be soked. Okay, that's fine. So, you know, it's, it's certain things that you do that train people how you're going to act, and what your expectations are of them. Yeah. And so it doesn't matter whether we can relationship, personal life or business life, it's the same thing. So like, to your point, I got some texts, and phone calls at midnight, one o'clock in the morning. And so I don't, my phone is not in my room at night anymore. I know, I can turn off notifications, but it's not in my room. So if somebody texted me or calls me at night, I have a you know, you can turn notifications off. And so I do that. But still I don't have in my room. I don't hear it. You can't get hold of me after a certain amount of time. Or until a certain certain point in the morning. So that's that's a lot of
Brigette Sobus:chivalry is not dead. I love when I hear that. And yeah, it's so great. Like some of these behaviors and patterns that we all do. There's so like I said, it really is our unconscious level, and we're not even aware of it. Like and we have these like automatic ways of being to like if you if you knew me years ago, and you came to me with a confrontation, I would probably number one, I'd ignore you. Or I would become super defensive and want to rip your head off. Or I would yeah, I would start crying because I wanted you to feel sorry for me. And I'm gonna tell you a lot of this stuff when people act like that, that behavior. It's It can even be generational. Like, I don't know if any of you have grown up in families, where that was like the norm. Like I would see grandp, my grandparents ignoring each other. And then it just goes down generational and how they would treat each other and, like shun each other. Yeah. So it gets so embedded in our like, it's almost like it's embedded in our DNA. The way they react to things and I, I'm I'm for me, I'm like living proof that we can re we can change all that. And I've been seeing it happen with clients.
Ron Pippin:I love that. I love that you come from a place of understanding when you're helping people because you can you can say you can truly say I get it. I do. I understand where you're coming from. I've been there but this is what I've done. This is how I got out of it. And this is how I can help you get out of it. So I love that you come from a place of you know you you hear of people that that are born with that that That silver spoon in their mouth. And, and those of us like, like me and you who were not. And we had to go through some hard times to get there. So I think that makes an amazing coach, when they can, then then they could really have empathy and understand where somebody is coming from.
Brigette Sobus:Yeah, and I really believe that even people with, you know, silver spoons in their mouth, perfect upbringing, we all have our own, we have our crap that we've, we've gone through, right, like you go to high school and what happens there? You know, we get judged by peers, it's all that peer pressure and you hear you're heartbroken for the first time in your life. So there's, it's yeah, it's life is interesting. And as we lie even people with me.
Ron Pippin:Yeah, even people that born with spoons in their mouth, that silver spoon in their mouth, they have their own set of problems. And and sometimes people are really shocked when they find out, this person really does have a whole different set of problems than me. But but but we all have our stuff. I mean, we all have our stuff. So what so what would you tell people? So if you were to leave somebody with a with a, just a good, one thing, or maybe one or two things? What, what advice would you give to people of how how to see that potential and how to how to get to the potential. That that is within all of us.
Brigette Sobus:Yeah, one of the things that you're gonna on a basic level, you know, because some of the a lot of the work, like with the timeline therapy and things like that, I really need to do somebody one on one and I do it on a, I do it on a zoom modality because I've got clients all across the country. But on a on a really simple level, what I like to share with people is even just doing like a clear a clearing exercise to get stuff out of their head. So I'm going to make this very, I'm gonna make this point very clear to everyone that's listening to this, this is nothing that you share with somebody else. You don't write this down, you share it, you either put it away where no one else can see it, or you burn it when it's done. Okay. So just I want to make this clear. So it's in a letter that you write to somebody else. So but it is is kind of similar to writing a letter. So the clearing exercise is, it's really brain dumping, like you throwing up on fake paper vomiting out, like all those negative feelings, those all those negative thoughts, like I, you know, throwing up, it can be like, excuse my french, but like an FU to somebody. You just you just write it all out all the things you're angry about all the things that you're mad about. you dump, dump, dump, dump dump. And when you can't, when you can't even get anything else out, that's when you're complete with that part. And then the second part would be just just say, like, acknowledging, what did I learn? What am I what what am i grateful for in my life? You know, who am I am as a better person? What's the lesson that this gave me? And then the third part is just gratitude. Like having gratitude, what action are you getting gonna get into? What will you try that's different? You know, because one of the things I like to talk about with people is like, getting outside of your comfort zone. You know, one of the things I'm always like, okay, so what's the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over again, and getting expecting different results. So in a lot of ways, we're all we're all insane. We keep doing this over and over again. And we don't get anywhere. So it's really just trying to is starting to shift your behavior. shift the way you're thinking about things. I'm always you know, I tell my clients to stop practicing, practicing, noticing, noticing how they're feeling. And then from there, start shifting, you know, listening to somebody, understanding what they have to say, Stop pausing so many times we want to just enter we're ready to interrupt what someone is saying. So it's like let that other person follow through, you know, follow through on what they have to say pause, think about it for a few minutes, then share what you have to say. So it is a lot of it is really slowing down to
Ron Pippin:so so thanks. That's that's, that's really good advice. So I understand you have a free gift for people that are on this call or not call, but are listening or watching this. And so for those of us that are, so tell us what that is. And well, yeah, tell us what the free gift is.
Brigette Sobus:So my free gift is, it's an E book, and it's 10 ways to be your highest and best self. And it's, you know, it really just goes and has a lot of practices on there for reminders on how to take care of you, fill up your cup, be present, be more present, because you know, I don't know about you guys, but there's been times in my life when I'm not even, I'm not even able to enjoy the moment, I could be the best party in the whole wide world. And my brain would be like thinking about the future, or starting to worry about the future. Well, like practicing being present in the now and enjoying now because we have one life to live. So it's yes, this 10 ways to being your best and highest self. So I'm all about people starting to practice to fill their cups up even more, and the happier we are and the more joyful we are, it's just going to be a ripple effect on the whole world. So I believe so
Ron Pippin:we'll put a link. Awesome. So we'll put a link if you go to agentvslender.com. And you and you find Bridget's podcast, which, if you're listening to it this week, that which is which will be the first week of June, I think is when we'll release this one. It'll be the first podcast that's on there. But we'll put a link in there. And we'll also put a screen if you're watching on YouTube, we'll put a link there and in the description as well.
Brigette Sobus:When you just brought up you can you say that, again, you were on my side. So I'm not sure if it would be on your side kind of recording.
Ron Pippin:It's, for some reason I've got a notification that might my. So for those that are listening, I apologize if there's a little bit of choppy sound, which is unusual. I've got a notification that my right during the podcast that I was my internet's a little unstable. And so I apologize for that. Okay, so we're going to put a link on to Bridget's free gift on our YouTube channel and on our website at Agent Vs Lender. So if you're watching on YouTube, go down in the in the description, and we'll have a link there. Bridgette, if they're if they don't want to do either of those. Is there a good way for them to find this free gift?
Brigette Sobus:Yes, they can go to my website. So it's brigettesobus.com. b r i g e t t e, s o b u s.com and anyone I'm always welcoming people to personally email me if you have questions. So that would just be my first name Brigette b r i g e TT E, brigette@brigettesobus.com so yeah, feel free to email me I love hearing from people.
Ron Pippin:Awesome. So is that the best way if they want to talk to you and get some more information? Is that the best way to just just email you?
Brigette Sobus:Yeah, I mean, you could text me as well. Should I give my phone number. It's easy
Ron Pippin:If you would like to that's up to you
Brigette Sobus:people can always text me I you know, it's not a secret phone numbers. So if you feel free to text me 773-387-1826 that's 773-387-1826. And just let me know, you know where where you heard about me from and then so I can let Ron know as well. And I also do complimentary strategy sessions. So if someone's really perfect and want to wants to find out more information or if you want to get clear on what's been getting in your way and how to empower your thoughts, I absolutely do complimentary strategy sessions.
Ron Pippin:Yeah, I would encourage anybody on this take advantage of that a complimentary just because we all have like we said, we all have our stuff. And we don't want to get in our way of business of relationships, personal, whatever. So take advantage of that give give Brigette you know, texture, color texture, and then for sure, go get that free gift. So if you think so much originally get back to you faster, just being honest. Fair enough. Either or Yeah. Okay. So Brigette, I appreciate you taking the time. I know you're busy. And I appreciate you taking the time to spend a little time with us and get to know you a little bit better.
Brigette Sobus:Well, thank you so much, Ron. It's been an absolute pleasure. I absolutely love what I do. So it's a passion of mine. It was Yeah, it was awesome to be on here and share my experiences and what I do. And I love the connection. So thank you. Awesome.
Ron Pippin:So and as usual, if you want to get hold of me or my team, you can give us a call at 801-628-7667. And if you like these, please go to Apple or our website and give us a review. We'd love love the honest reviews. Of course, we'd love the five star reviews. So if you gave us review, we would love that as well. So that will bring to close another session of Agent Vs Lender and we'll catch you next week.